Facebook Wants to Know Little Known Things About Me

15 Nov

Things you may not know about me:
1. Twelve is an unholy number.
2. The prophet sees all of time and does not like cheese dip.
3. Some people would do well to ascend to African apes.
4. Spilling Hawaiian Punch is an unforgivable sin before age 6.
5. Groucho Marx misquoted me.
6. Three-hundred and four minus two-hundred and ninety-eight.
7. Your imagination doesn’t exist. It was replaced three years ago with an emphatic, white noise random numbers generators that hums binary. You hear the hum when it is completely silent, and you secretly fear it has already proven you like frozen Twizzlers in cheap whisky, even though you haven’t ever tried it.
8. There is no 8. The numbers 9 and 7 were over-achievers and created a number to eliminate being shamed by cube roots and those exiled to the Island of Lonely Integers.
9. Redacted, due to inducing impromptu kissing and aggregate supply of emotional commodities.

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